Wasn’t it wonderful to go to sleep at night as a child knowing that your parents had everything under control? If you heard something go bump in the night, hey, it’s not like you were the one having to drag your buns out of bed. That’s Mom and Dad’s job! Then you grow up, don’t you? And before you know it, YOU are the one investigating said noise in the middle of the night.
Don’t expect your investigations to be easy, though. I mean, you have to navigate the landmine that is your children’s playroom. And my children are always considerate enough to leave some “presents” out for me, such as little cars, blocks or Barbies in the kitchen or, the latest favorite place, right at the bottom of the stairs. So I’m having to navigate this lovely maze, all while scared out of my mind that there’s an intruder in my house. You’ve gotta love the possessed toys that somehow know when you’re on edge and choose the perfect moment to sing the ABCs at top volume while you’re a full five feet away.
It’s not like I have a deadly weapon or anything to do something about an intruder, but you’d best watch out, would-be burglar, because I entered the digits for 911 on my iPhone, and I will SO press send on your heiny!!