Hmm…my post title could be expanded to include babies as well, for babies are just as guilty of this offense. By “this offense”, I of course am referring to those of our young charges who choose (and I’m convinced that it’s quite on purpose) to defecate at the exact moment that you pick them up to put them in the car so you can go somewhere. This only happens when you a) are running extremely late, b) are the only adult to be found in the entire house and c) actually have to be somewhere. Just going out with a casual plan that can be changed (ha, again!) doesn’t count, and the toddler knows it. He knows all too well when his loaded diaper will be most effective and has a diabolical plan that he sets into motion as soon as shoes make their appearance. He thinks, “Oh!! Shoes!! We’re going somewhere! Hmm…let’s see if I can muster up some kind of waste from breakfast or the night before. I know I have it in me!” You will never catch him LOOKING like he’s thinking this, because he is a master of deception. This boy may have been very obvious about his stinky deeds when he was a baby (the grunting and the red face…you know the drill), but now, OH, now, he can run and play and jump on the trampoline, all while he lets loose. He will even wait for you to check his diaper about 10 minutes before you have to leave, and *then*, and only then, he will make his move. It doesn’t work if you actually have TIME to change him! Oh, no. That just won’t do. Mommy must be absolutely ready to go before discovering that he is all of a sudden a “leetle bit” heavier than he was 15 minutes ago!