Funny Kid Quotes Friday #2

After asking me to open a ziplock bag: Elise: “Mommy, you have a big hand.  And you can open things well!”  Um, thanks?

While driving home from the gym:
Elise: “If we don’t get home very soon, you will be in big trouble, Mommy!”
Me: “Oh?  And how am I going to get in trouble?”
E: “I will tell you to stop driving!!”
(a minute later, at a stoplight)
E: “Okay, Mommy, you can start driving again!”
Me: “Um, it’s a red light…”

E: “If you want me to calm down, you need to kiss my dress.”
Me: “…why?”
E: “Because YUM!”

Elise was upset because I was taking Lacey somewhere and not her:
Me: “But you will probably get to watch a cool show while we’re gone.”
Lacey: “Yeah!  Maybe you’ll watch Top Gear!” (Elise was not amused)

L: “Can I take my backpack to the gym, randomly?”
Me: “Lacey, what do you think ‘randomly’ means?”
L: “It means that you just do it anyway, even if Mommy doesn’t want you to.”

Wicked Awesome Media Wednesday #3: Tracy Anderson Method: Post-Pregnancy Workout (2012)

So, my friends.  I return to the world of the wicked awesome workout.  Today, I bring you one of the most effective ones I own.  She’s more well known currently than she was even a year ago, largely due to Gwyneth Paltrow praising her to the nth degree all over the media.

Ladies and gents, I am of course speaking of Tracy Anderson.  Now, a few caveats. Tracy’s background is in ballet, and she kind of fell into training when she did some research on what worked best for her.  If you google her, you will quickly find that people either love her or hate her with a violent hatred.  She’s not your typical trainer, and she is horrendous at cueing the viewer regarding what her next move will be.  With that said, her Post-Pregnancy Workout DVD is wonderful, not only post pregnancy, but for anyone in any stage of life.  Also, it is TOUGH.  Don’t kid yourself—you may even think you’re in pretty good shape and you may find that you can’t do the whole workout or have to modify it.  She has a section with weights right after a strenuous arm session, and I still have never been able to use weights!

Tracy includes a lot of abdominal work (duh) along with some pretty difficult arm and leg exercises.  A lot of these you won’t have come across in other workout DVDs or classes simply because of Tracy’s ballet background and unconventional method.  Being different can be a good thing, and in this case it certainly is!  You will definitely feel the burn, and, more importantly, you will feel yourself getting stronger with each workout.

Now, in terms of owning this DVD, I have included the link to the recently re-released version, which is now on sale at $9.99.  If you search for Tracy on Amazon, you will see that the same (older version) DVD is priced at $30, which is redonkulous.  I’m thinking that Tracy sold her old DVDs at $30 when she wasn’t as well-known, and then as she became more and more famous, she saw reason and brought it down to a reasonable price (OR because she started selling more!).

Anyway, I do not advocate all of what Tracy has to say.  For example, she has a diet plan that I think restricts calories too much.  Also, she counsels women never to use weights weighing more than three pounds, which is straight-up bull….just keepin’ it real.  However, this DVD?  Awesome.

Hello there, world!

Hey, everyone! I just wanted to let you know that I am putting together a bunch of recipe posts and will be on a brief hiatus regarding food posts. It’s just for a few weeks, but it will give me time to have a few weeks worth of posts to fall back on. I learned AFTER I started my blog that it was a good idea to do this! Anyway, so I will be cooking and baking up a storm and will have some really yummy stuff to share with you before you know it!

Thanks for your patience! You will be rewarded! 😉

Funny Kid Quotes Friday #1

So, dear readers.  I have decided that while First World Problem Friday is funny in theory, I want to discontinue it for the time being.  I have found myself looking for things that annoy me in order to have something to write about, and I don’t like that.  Really, what I’m doing is focusing on the negative, and I don’t want to.  Life is good, and I love seeing and celebrating the beauty in it.

I thought that instead, I would share some funny kid quotes with you all.  They are always a favorite on my personal Facebook page.  I absolutely love writing down the funny things people say.  Somewhere I have a bunch of school notebooks with funny professor quotes here and there in the page margins, along with sheets of paper devoted to humorous quotes from my old coworkers or family and friends.  Now that I have kids capable of speech, I LOVE this part of their development—the part where they are trying to figure out both how to say things and how the world around them works.  Who knew my kids would be such a goldmine???  They truly make me laugh every day.  Without further ado, here are some recent kid quotes for your amusement.

Elise, after being woken up from nap: “I slept so hard that I got SICK!” (she was perfectly healthy)

Elise, again after waking up from nap: “I read a LOT of books!  And then I read more books when my eyes were closed!!”

Lacey, when I went to get her up to get ready for school: *holds up her foot to me* “Feel that, Mommy.”
Me: (I feel…the bottom of a foot, nothing out of the ordinary)
Lacey: “That means it doesn’t want to walk.” *brings her foot way up to her face and starts talking to it* “You need to walk to school!  And you need to walk at recess!!”  (apparently done, she takes my hand, ready to start the day)

(Looking at pictures from a few years ago, and we come across a picture of Elise when she was about a year old)
Me: “Awww!!  I miss Baby Elise!”
Elise: “Me, too!  I wish I could make me a lower number!”  (i.e. be a baby again)

Me: “I have a lower voice because I’m sick.”
Elise: “Sometime I change my voices.”
Me: “How?”
Elise: “I don’t know….maybe someone magics them to change them? *thinks a moment*  Oh!  Maybe it’s the man who always messes up our room!”
Lacey: “Yeah, remember the man who comes in and messes up our room, and you didn’t believe it?”

If you have any funny quotes, please feel free to share, either in the comments here or on my Facebook page!

Wicked Awesome Media Wednesday #3: Son by Lois Lowry

Hi, all.  Sick Ker here.  Sicker and sicker.  We’ve been fighting croup, nausea, sore throats and coughing for almost two weeks.  I, in particular, have experienced the latter two in worsening stages over the past few days.  I hope to return to the land of the hale and hearty soon.

Despite all this, I do, however, have a great book to share with you.  First, let me explain my reading habits a bit.  I am an avid reader, but I do go through stages.  The iPad and books are at odds.  Sometimes I’ll be very into reading my Google Reader posts and browsing the internet, and sometimes I’ll totally get into reading and devour a few books at a time (whenever I have the time, that is).  I’ve been doing the latter the past week or so, probably because I’ve been forced to lay down a lot more than usual, and it’s something to pass the time, in between referring the fights that occur because “J.J. took Lamby” and other important occurrences.  Therefore, I introduce you to my latest conquest.

Son by Lois Lowry

If any of you have read “The Giver”, you’ll want to read this one.  Now, there are two other books in the series, just FYI, but in my personal opinion, I feel like “Son” was the first book to address in detail what happened after the oh-so-frustratingly abrupt ending to “The Giver.”  If you’ve read the latter, you know what I’m talkin’ ’bout, Willis.  Oh, the Frustration, Dear Lois!  She more than made up for the long wait, though—“Son” kept me hooked from the get-go.  Now, I will say that there were a couple of fantastical elements that just didn’t seem to entirely jive with the rest of the story, but I still was drawn in sufficiently that I think Ms. Lowry pulled it off.  She’s a great writer.  If you have not read “The Giver”, you are really missing out.  It’s aimed at ages ten and up, but it is a thought-provoking novel that has meaning for people of all ages.  It’s honestly in my top two most favorite books, and I have read a LOT-LOT-LOT of books.  What are you waiting for??  Go read it!

(Images are from Amazon.com; I do not claim ownership)

Little Kids Tell The Funniest Knock-Knock Jokes

Lacey wrote a knock-knock joke the first day of Thanksgiving break and has been dying to tell it to her class/school.  So last Wednesday when I walked into the cafeteria with her (it was raining, and the school meets in there in the mornings when it does), she was very insistent about going up in front of the school to tell her joke because her teacher had said she could tell it.  Well, I knew that about four kids get up in front of everyone every day to tell jokes, but I didn’t know exactly how that worked, and I hadn’t heard anything from her teacher to indicate that she was indeed supposed to go up there, so I held back until her teacher came.  Plus, I knew what Lacey’s joke was, and you better believe I didn’t really want her to go up there, because I knew only the adults would find it funny.  It was very much a kindergartner joke, IF you know what I mean!  Well, her teacher finally came, and it turns out that there’s an approval process for the jokes told at morning lineup, so she told Lacey that she could tell her joke for their class.  I got permission to observe the telling of it, and here it is!

Lacey (standing next to Teacher in front of her whole class): Knock-knock.
Class: Who’s there?
Lacey: I love Teacher.
Class: I love Teacher who?
Lacey: (silence)
Teacher (looking over and seeing that there WAS no punchline): And…it looks like that’s the end of the joke!  Yay!  I feel so loved!  Thank you, Lacey!

I thought it was hilarious and cute, but her class was like, “What? Okay.”  It was quite humorous.  Later that evening during dinner, we were trying to get Lacey to understand how knock-knock jokes work, so Hubbin looked up some jokes online and was telling them at the dinner table.  Then it was Lacey’s turn.  Read the following jokes, and deduce for yourselves if the concept got through:

Lacey: Knock-knock.
Us: Who’s there?
Lacey: I love my family.
Us: I love my family who?
Lacey: You’re eating soup; yum!!

Lacey: Knock-knock.
Us: Who’s there?
Lacey: J.J.
Us: J.J. who?
Lacey: Go to your speech class!!  (J.J. has speech therapy once a week)

Lacey: Knock-knock.
Us: Who’s there?
Lacey: Magnet.
Us: Magnet who?
Lacey: Magnet I love to put on the fridge!!

Then Elise took a stab at it:

Elise: Knock-knock.
Us: Who’s there?
Elise: I’m eating chips.
Us: I’m eating chips who?
Elise: *a string of nonsense words, including “Goo” and “Gaga”*

Hubbin told my favorite of all time:

Hubbin: Knock-knock.
Us: Who’s there?
Hubbin: Interrupting cow.
Us: Interrupting co—
Hubbin: MOOOOOO!!

J.J. of course would not be left out of the fun and games:

J.J.: Knock-knock.
Us: Who’s there?
J.J.: Cow.
Us: Cow who?
J.J.: *pause of about five seconds* MOOO!!

It seems our two-year-old understands the concept better than his sisters!  😉  Haha, I know they’ll all get it eventually, but it is great fun to listen to the ones they come up with now.

First World Problem Friday #4: Pants Without Pockets Are Super Annoying

I have a confession to make: I love pockets.  Nay, I adore them.  However, this only extends to pockets that you can actually PUT things in.  Froofy little pockets just for decoration or that are so small you can only put a quarter in them don’t count.

Therefore, it stands to reason that I can’t stand pants without pockets.  This is especially true when I want to work out.  If I’m going to the gym, I still want a place to put my phone and my keys, among other things.  Yes, I am aware that purses exist.  I just don’t much care for them.  I feel like one strap isn’t practical when you have small kids.  Purse straps are forever falling off my shoulder when I’m trying to tote my thirty pound screaming offspring somewhere.  Not good.  Therefore, pockets hold quite the place of importance in my life.

As an example of how much I love pockets, I found a pair of workout capris at Old Navy a few months ago.  When I tried them on and they fit perfectly AND had pockets, I went out of my way to track down an additional two pairs at another store.  I *only* bought three because they were out at every store!  They remain my absolute favorite workout bottoms, hands down.  I would buy more if I could.  (I *think* the amputee below is wearing the same capris I got, although mine are grey.  Image courtesy of OldNavy.com; I do not claim ownership)

I love pockets for everyday life, like jeans and dressy pants, AND for the times when you just want to be comfy.  I am of course referring to pajama pants and loungy-around-the-house pants.  I cannot tell you the number of times I have browsed the clothing racks and found that every single pair of comfy pants doesn’t have pockets.  Pajama pants are especially guilty of this.  Now, you should know that I’m a pajama lover.  I adore pajamas.  The softer, the better.  However, the majority of those I own lack pockets.  I think we can all agree that there are some days you just want to be lazy and hang out around the house.  Maybe you don’t have anywhere to go, or you want some downtime, or perhaps there is inclement weather outside.  So you stay in your jammies!  If I’m doing that, I still want to have my phone in my pocket!  I think what I’m saying here is that I blame the majority of clothing companies for the sheer number of missed calls due to putting my phone elsewhere because I didn’t have pockets.  😉

Now, I know that there are those out there who love them some pants without pockets.  And who am I to deny them?  Therefore, I will not deny them!  I’m not suggesting that we do away with pockets-challenged pants; I simply wish for a selection of half and half.  Please, for the love of everything ever, give me more selection with pockets!!  That is all I ask!  Let people actually be able to get ahold of me.  They will thank you.

Wicked Awesome Media Wednesday #2: Stephenie Meyer’s The Host

Good morning, dear readers!  I came downstairs this morning, and my husband was watching movie trailers on the iPad, which was kind of a Twilight Zone thing to do, since he is usually militant about not watching trailers before he sees a movie.  Anyway, he started watching the latest trailer for The Host, and, unbeknownst to him, I had just brought down my hardback copy of the same!  I took it as a sign that I simply *must* write about it…which I was planning to do anyway, since it was the reason I had brought the book downstairs and all.  😉

I have a confession to make about Stephenie Meyer.  I think she is a super talented author, but DUDE, what the heck happened to the movies??  I know I risk the wrath of Twihards and Twilight-obsessed mommies everywhere, but I really didn’t care for the movies that much.  And I should say here that I have read all of her books and totally immersed myself in the Twilight world and *loved* it.  Here are my problems with the movies: I didn’t really agree with the casting.  Actually, the only casting I agreed with was Alice, because she embodied the character so well.  The vampires are supposed to be the most beautiful people anyone has ever seen, not pasty-white, depressed, sulking people who look way older than high-schoolers and speak in monotones!  Also, sometimes you can dye someone’s hair a color that is not natural to them and have it work out, but this is not the case with Carlisle…he just looks silly with blonde hair!   Another problem I had was the general hokiness of the movie.  Many parts were just silly and actually laugh-out-loud funny when they were supposed to be serious.  That’s generally something you want to avoid in your movie, methinks.

ANYway…getting back to The Host.  As I said previously, I’m a big fan of Stephenie’s written work.  So I was excited when The Host came out in 2008 (side note: I looked up the date it was published, and I was like, “whaaaaa??”….where did the last four years go?).  Unfortunately, everyone else with access to my public library system was also stoked to read it, and there were a TON of requests for the book, as you might imagine.  So I waited.  And waited.  And waited some more.  Then it finally came into my grubby little hands!  I devoured it.  It is a great story!  If you haven’t read it yet, it’s set in the future when the Earth has been almost completely overtaken by parasitic aliens who use the Earthlings as hosts.  Melanie is a young woman who gets captured and an alien, Wanderer, is put inside her brain.  However, Melanie has a very strong personality, and so she and Wanderer fight for control over her body.  We learn about Melanie’s life through flashbacks and memories.  I highly recommend the book, and if you’re interested, get it now before interest in it goes way up next spring when the movie comes out.

(image belongs to Stephenie Meyer; I do not claim ownership)

I really, really, super-duper hope that the movie doesn’t suck.  Please don’t suck, movie.  Take a look at the newest trailer below and tell me what you think.  Would you be interested in seeing it based on the trailer?

Luscious Lunes #3: Easy Tomato Salad

This lovely lunes I would like to introduce you to a very easy Italian appetizer.  I got this idea from my aunt, who served a similar recipe when I was visiting her a few months ago, although I have tweaked the ingredients a bit.  She used balsamic vinegar, which I have omitted, since my husband is not a fan, and why am I going to buy a huge bottle of it if I’m the only one using it?  Yeah, not happening.

Easy Tomato Salad – inspired by Aunt Anne

14-15 cherry tomatoes, sliced (I actually used a roma-juliet hybrid that I grew myself, but cherry is the closest in size to what I used.)
salt and pepper, to taste
olive oil, to taste
4 string cheese sticks (low-fat mozzarella), sliced into rounds
Handful of fresh basil leaves or basil paste in a tube (I used the latter….Gourmet Gardens Basil, which I LOVE)

Directions:

1. Arrange tomato slices onto a serving plate.
2. Sprinkle salt and pepper on them to taste.
3. Drizzle olive oil over tomatoes, also to taste.  Be careful with that big ol’ bottle, or you’ll have a lot more than you wanted on there!  Not that I know from experience, or anything…
4. Place string cheese rounds on each tomato slice.
5. Either tear pieces of basil and place on the cheese or squeeze a little dab of basil paste onto the cheese.

Enjoy your easy masterpiece!  You can always use bigger tomatoes, but I like the cherry ones because they are easy for little fingers to pick up, plus my tomato plant has been a master procreater, and I’ve had to get creative in my uses of its crop.  Woman can only have so much tomato soup, you know what I mean?

First World Problem Friday #3: The Ill-timed Toddler Poop

Hmm…my post title could be expanded to include babies as well, for babies are just as guilty of this offense.  By “this offense”, I of course am referring to those of our young charges who choose (and I’m convinced that it’s quite on purpose) to defecate at the exact moment that you pick them up to put them in the car so you can go somewhere.  This only happens when you a) are running extremely late, b) are the only adult to be found in the entire house and c) actually have to be somewhere.  Just going out with a casual plan that can be changed (ha, again!) doesn’t count, and the toddler knows it.  He knows all too well when his loaded diaper will be most effective and has a diabolical plan that he sets into motion as soon as shoes make their appearance.  He thinks, “Oh!!  Shoes!!  We’re going somewhere!  Hmm…let’s see if I can muster up some kind of waste from breakfast or the night before.  I know I have it in me!”  You will never catch him LOOKING like he’s thinking this, because he is a master of deception.  This boy may have been very obvious about his stinky deeds when he was a baby (the grunting and the red face…you know the drill), but now, OH, now, he can run and play and jump on the trampoline, all while he lets loose.  He will even wait for you to check his diaper about 10 minutes before you have to leave, and *then*, and only then, he will make his move.  It doesn’t work if you actually have TIME to change him!  Oh, no.  That just won’t do.  Mommy must be absolutely ready to go before discovering that he is all of a sudden a “leetle bit” heavier than he was 15 minutes ago!

Good thing he’s so dang cute!